on my mind

On my mind today.
Some days I want another baby- like tomorrow.
Then some common sense kicks in..
It says, Carly- Lucy is only ONE- what are you thinking?
And, did you forget you have no money to pay for the little squirt?
But then I walk by newborn babies in their strollers in the mall, or take dinner to a new mom in the ward, and about die at how cute the little newborns on. 
I think- I must have one, 9 months from now!
Lucy so needs a friend.
It is so cute how she interacts with other children- she is SO SO social and outgoing, and I know she would be the most darling big sister...
Then I remember, how bad I wanted to run for 9 months but couldn't....
I'll be honest-
 I am not looking forward to gaining 25 lbs again.
I had the easiest pregnancy ever....
But part of me wants to finally run that 1/2 marathon in August.
And I am really enjoying this warm weather and going running everyday...
Maybe I want to wear a bikini this summer, okay?
Is that so bad?
Who knows, maybe after my next pregnancy I'll get the worst stretch marks and veins of all time?
But then again...
sweet newborn baby.
Falling asleep on your chest.
Lucy's little friend.
Why do I feel so selfish for not being pregnant and wanting another baby right now?
Maybe because I know so many people who have had a hard time getting pregnant and I know I could? Or at least I hope I could again...

Just some thoughts.
I'll let you know what I decide.
As of now- took the birth control tonight.
=)
Anyway.
Cheer Clinics start tomorrow- try outs Friday.
I feel like a little kid on Christmas.
Try Outs are seriously the best entertainment of all time.
and so exciting.
Me and my cheerios... sigh...

P.S.
I love Lucy.
She was sitting by a little boy at church on Sunday who was like 2 and started jumping-- she's been obsessed ever since. She can't quite get her feet off the ground yet, but is trying desperately to jump. It's probably the funniest thing ever. 
She's also become quite the listener/understander.... She can follow simple directions, and is very good at picking things up and giving them to mom and dad.
I can't believe how much she is learning lately.
I swear her brain is just this little sponge sucking everything in!
LOVE HER!

Comments

  1. Meg and LaddMarch 23, 2010 at 11:54 PM

    Car get pregnant with me and then our babies can be best friends! How awesome would that be?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haley & BradMarch 24, 2010 at 11:33 AM

    Haha meg I love that idea!!! and Carly oh my heck Lucy is just so cute, she sounds like such a doll trying to jump!! and yes, I think you two should both get prego :) haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. kelli knightMarch 24, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    You are such a good Mom. Everytime I read about how much you love your little girl I'm so impressed. You'll know when the time is right for another one... as for now wear the bikini. I'm just sayin'

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mat and BrookeMarch 24, 2010 at 8:02 PM

    I read that post and felt like you read my mind before you wrote it! When I read your blog, I see so much of me in it. I love being a mom, too. It's just the most beautiful gift and the most fulfilling career there is. Hard--yes. Tiring--absolutely. But somehow still...beautiful and wonderful in every single way! And when you love it so much, it's hard not to want more of it. I totally understand. But what I've had to remind myself, is that my children will come for as long as I want them to (hopefully), and I don't have to hurry myself through it. There is so much to love and enjoy in each of them as individuals. They are so special! And truly, as you already know, it just gets harder. But someone like you is totally up for the challenge, I'm sure!

    I am a mother of three right now; my oldest is 5 1/2 and my youngest is 10 1/2 months. But before I got pregnant with my third, I remember feeling just the way you do now: wanting a baby so badly, but having a hard time giving up my freedom and my "in shape" body and extra-curricular activities. I was running in races, just like you, and loving it so much. ...I guess what I'm trying to say is, your feelings are normal. And you truly will know when the time is right to have another baby!!

    ReplyDelete

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