rambling.
tonight i am having one of those, 'love your kids so much i didn't even want to put them to bed' moments.
sometimes i read some other mom's blogs and i am in awe at how much it seems they love their kids, and honestly just how great of moms they are! i think- man, i should be better. Lucy gets me SO frustrated sometimes, and I wish I was more patient and more loving. Now- truth be told, Lucy does drive me absolutely crazy sometimes. I have no idea how to get her to listen some days, and it's just awesome when she chooses to go to time-out all on her own instead of doing what mommy asks her to do. She has my personality almost exactly, and is just so funny, and stubborn. I know I hit the jack-pot with my kids-- seriously. Lucy is the cutest little girl in the whole world, and is so social and such a joy to be around. She loves all other little kids and for the most part is a great 'sharer' and just loves to make people happy.
Clara-- ah, words cannot describe how sweet this little baby is. I cannot even believe she is almost 4 months old---time is seriously flying by. I want her to stay this age forever- seriously. She will just sit and look into my eyes and smile so so big, and just sit and talk and sing to me! She is so so precious, and I love the fact that even though it can be such a big responsibility, she is 100% dependent on me. She loves me more than anything, and needs me in everything she does. I could just sit and hold that little girl all day long, i love how she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and wants more than anything just to have my attention so she can smile at me some more. Man, I think I could have 15 kids if they were all as good as her-- and never grew up- Of course. Pshh.. that's the problem. Lucy is growing up. I sound like such a cliche, but it's so sad! I am terrified at the world she will grow up in, and it's even more terrifying that I am responsible for the little squirt. I see my mom still taking care of my younger brother and sister who are teenagers and trying to lead them to make good decisions, and I think crap-- will i have taught my girls enough? will they know right from wrong? will they make good choices? sometimes all i can think about is getting little lucy into the right dance class, or gymnastics class-- I mean which should she take? dance or gymnastics? we can only afford one-- i mean i know she's only 2, but i want to get her in somewhere good so she can continue on there when she's older! (Haha. I'm so ridiculous.) Then it's, well-- I really want to get Lucy some of those toddler Tom's. They are just so cute-- would she rather have the pink sparkly, or the purple sparkly ones? I know Lucy would want the purple ones, because she loves anything and everything purple, but maybe pink would match more. $30 isn't that much if she wears them all the time right???
Sometimes I can't get over how shallow and selfish I am. Does it really matter if she is an amazing dancer or cheerleader when she gets older? Or isn't the best dressed? Isn't it really just about her having fun in class and making good friends? Friends that will be a good influence on her later in life, and heaven please help her just stay innocent. Please please please just let her be kind. Help her to please be respectful, and think of others. I have good intentions I really do, but I'm so embarrassed sometimes that I get so caught up in the material things, I mean for heaven's sakes. My daughter is only 2 1/2 and I'm thinking about which gymnastics class to sign her up in. I love my girls to to the moon and back, and I can only hope that I can learn enough to teach them the right things. I truly just want them to be good people. I am just glad my girls have such fabulous examples around them all the time. They have the most wonderful grandparents, and I am so lucky to have such awesome mom's help me try to figure out this parenting thing. I can just say, I'm just so glad my girls are still so little and not teenagers. I have a lot to figure out. I was just so excited to have babies I never thought about them Really growing up. It's going to be a long road with these two cute girls. I'm the luckiest mom in the world. I sincerely couldn't ask for a better husband or two more amazing daughters. I just hope I can keep up with them, and lead them down the right paths. I hope to teach them that serving others really brings you the most happiness. And being kind to one another is what's really important, not what kind of shoes you have, or where you take dance. Some days I just want to keep them in a little bubble and protect them from any kind of outside harm.
I am so far from perfect it's scary. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I truly have learned so much in just the last few years-- now here's to putting it to good use. =) Being a mom is the best job in the world. I know I have heard people say that for years, but it's so true. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so glad I got married when I was 18, and had Lucy when I was 20. I know I did things so so backwards, but it will all work out. I would do anything to protect those little cuties sleeping in the room next door. Lucy has her doll Belle sleeping on the pillow next to her, and little Clara is all cuddled up with her blanky up by her face. I love those girls. I really do!
On to more ramblings and thoughts.
This summer has been one of the best summers of my life. I feel like we have been on a 3-month long vacation and it's slowly coming to a close. I am so grateful for good friends and family that have made these past few months so awesome. I am happier than I have ever been in my life, and I love it! Even thought I feel like we are living in limbo- Tyler just finished school, and to be honest hates the job he is working at right now, so is looking for a new one.... It wouldn't be right to have both of us being the happiest we have ever been right? Haha. I am trying to be less selfish, for those of you who know me, know that I have always been a very selfish, self-centered person. It's an awful awful quality that I have been really trying to change. Maybe one day I'll get there, and not be so vain and materialistic. I'm working on it!
I know challenges and change are ahead, but I think i have figured out what makes me happy, so as long as I can keep doing what makes me happy I'll be ok wherever we end up.
sometimes i read some other mom's blogs and i am in awe at how much it seems they love their kids, and honestly just how great of moms they are! i think- man, i should be better. Lucy gets me SO frustrated sometimes, and I wish I was more patient and more loving. Now- truth be told, Lucy does drive me absolutely crazy sometimes. I have no idea how to get her to listen some days, and it's just awesome when she chooses to go to time-out all on her own instead of doing what mommy asks her to do. She has my personality almost exactly, and is just so funny, and stubborn. I know I hit the jack-pot with my kids-- seriously. Lucy is the cutest little girl in the whole world, and is so social and such a joy to be around. She loves all other little kids and for the most part is a great 'sharer' and just loves to make people happy.
Clara-- ah, words cannot describe how sweet this little baby is. I cannot even believe she is almost 4 months old---time is seriously flying by. I want her to stay this age forever- seriously. She will just sit and look into my eyes and smile so so big, and just sit and talk and sing to me! She is so so precious, and I love the fact that even though it can be such a big responsibility, she is 100% dependent on me. She loves me more than anything, and needs me in everything she does. I could just sit and hold that little girl all day long, i love how she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and wants more than anything just to have my attention so she can smile at me some more. Man, I think I could have 15 kids if they were all as good as her-- and never grew up- Of course. Pshh.. that's the problem. Lucy is growing up. I sound like such a cliche, but it's so sad! I am terrified at the world she will grow up in, and it's even more terrifying that I am responsible for the little squirt. I see my mom still taking care of my younger brother and sister who are teenagers and trying to lead them to make good decisions, and I think crap-- will i have taught my girls enough? will they know right from wrong? will they make good choices? sometimes all i can think about is getting little lucy into the right dance class, or gymnastics class-- I mean which should she take? dance or gymnastics? we can only afford one-- i mean i know she's only 2, but i want to get her in somewhere good so she can continue on there when she's older! (Haha. I'm so ridiculous.) Then it's, well-- I really want to get Lucy some of those toddler Tom's. They are just so cute-- would she rather have the pink sparkly, or the purple sparkly ones? I know Lucy would want the purple ones, because she loves anything and everything purple, but maybe pink would match more. $30 isn't that much if she wears them all the time right???
Sometimes I can't get over how shallow and selfish I am. Does it really matter if she is an amazing dancer or cheerleader when she gets older? Or isn't the best dressed? Isn't it really just about her having fun in class and making good friends? Friends that will be a good influence on her later in life, and heaven please help her just stay innocent. Please please please just let her be kind. Help her to please be respectful, and think of others. I have good intentions I really do, but I'm so embarrassed sometimes that I get so caught up in the material things, I mean for heaven's sakes. My daughter is only 2 1/2 and I'm thinking about which gymnastics class to sign her up in. I love my girls to to the moon and back, and I can only hope that I can learn enough to teach them the right things. I truly just want them to be good people. I am just glad my girls have such fabulous examples around them all the time. They have the most wonderful grandparents, and I am so lucky to have such awesome mom's help me try to figure out this parenting thing. I can just say, I'm just so glad my girls are still so little and not teenagers. I have a lot to figure out. I was just so excited to have babies I never thought about them Really growing up. It's going to be a long road with these two cute girls. I'm the luckiest mom in the world. I sincerely couldn't ask for a better husband or two more amazing daughters. I just hope I can keep up with them, and lead them down the right paths. I hope to teach them that serving others really brings you the most happiness. And being kind to one another is what's really important, not what kind of shoes you have, or where you take dance. Some days I just want to keep them in a little bubble and protect them from any kind of outside harm.
I am so far from perfect it's scary. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I truly have learned so much in just the last few years-- now here's to putting it to good use. =) Being a mom is the best job in the world. I know I have heard people say that for years, but it's so true. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am so glad I got married when I was 18, and had Lucy when I was 20. I know I did things so so backwards, but it will all work out. I would do anything to protect those little cuties sleeping in the room next door. Lucy has her doll Belle sleeping on the pillow next to her, and little Clara is all cuddled up with her blanky up by her face. I love those girls. I really do!
On to more ramblings and thoughts.
This summer has been one of the best summers of my life. I feel like we have been on a 3-month long vacation and it's slowly coming to a close. I am so grateful for good friends and family that have made these past few months so awesome. I am happier than I have ever been in my life, and I love it! Even thought I feel like we are living in limbo- Tyler just finished school, and to be honest hates the job he is working at right now, so is looking for a new one.... It wouldn't be right to have both of us being the happiest we have ever been right? Haha. I am trying to be less selfish, for those of you who know me, know that I have always been a very selfish, self-centered person. It's an awful awful quality that I have been really trying to change. Maybe one day I'll get there, and not be so vain and materialistic. I'm working on it!
I know challenges and change are ahead, but I think i have figured out what makes me happy, so as long as I can keep doing what makes me happy I'll be ok wherever we end up.
I really liked your post. I have a lot of the same fears for my child and I want him to grow up and be a wonderful person. It is really scary having to be responsible for someone else but from what I see from your blog, you are a great mom! Your girls are so cute!
ReplyDeleteDarling post girl, and your are a terrific mom!
ReplyDeleteLove the post. I feel the same way. I want the best for my kids and sometimes I get caught up in the material things. I just pray that they are wonderful people and that I don't screw up. You are a wonderful mother! We need to get together for a play date!
ReplyDeleteHey Girl,
ReplyDeleteI love when you just ramble. It's always just the Truth and how life isn't perfect but we have to choose to be happy especially when we have EVERYTHING right next to us in those little kid bodies we made :). your girls are so stinking CUTE! You should check out My Running Blog. I'm looking for followers that are Moms and are trying to juggle the world and stay in balance. While also trying to fit in that work out in the day, that mile or two that is sometimes just so hard to get out and run. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE your comments, input, advice, stories and Ideas on things we could do for posts each day. Let us know how you do it.
talk to you later.
-Les-